I met one of those GUYS. The ones that give that wisdom that you just need when all you need is you need it. I know that can't make much sense yet but, oh heck ya, it will for sure. You might be walking your tootsies down a sidewalk and just generally trying to figure some stuff out when all of sudden a guy dressed up in some fancy clothing just comes up to you and blows your mind up with knowledge.
A week ago. Maybe two weeks ago. I don't really know because the last few weeks have been kind of a blur. And also, the only had one pair of clothes to wear and nowhere to shower really. And as you all know when you where clothes for long amounts of time they just get way stinky and all those body odors that you've got just start to pile up and infect your nostrils, something fierce. Whoa I just said 'Something Fierce'. Never thought I'd get to use that one. But anyway, the stink rips up your brain gets you talking that crazy talk. I mean I guess it rained a couple times but that was the only sort of shower I'd get at all. A rain shower. If I were paying for one of those I'd for sure ask for my money back, because they are rip offs.
But ya, a week or two weeks ago, this well dressed guy in those DoG glasses or D&G, but I think it said DoG. He's got those DoG's on and he says “my son can I help you along your path.” I just say back to him, “probably not because you aren't driving a car, buster.” He just says, “How did you know my name was Buster?” I say “I don't know, because you're wearing DoG glasses, and Buster is a Dog's name, you dweeber.” He just goes “you confuse my son, I don't know why you call these glasses dog glasses.”
This guy was really bugging me out because he just kept calling me son. I'm not his stupid son, I'm a smelly guy who he just met him on the street. And that's when it hit me. If he can call people son and be nice to them even though he's never met them before, that must mean that he's a nice guy.
“What if I told you, I want to offer you a job” he said. “I'd say you're crazy because you don't even know me.” “Well I'm not crazy, I just want to help out my fellow man” he says. I say “how do you know I'm a fellow man and not a robot?” I like saying that type of stuff just to spice up reality a little bit, you know, give em' something to contemplate for a while, because obviously this guy is nutty-von-doobinheimer. Offering jobs out like they're candy, is totally whacko, you know. Right? “I just thought I'd help you.” I say, “ya, I get you buddy. But here's the deal, I'm really far from home right now. Seriously a little while ago I was in the woods feeding bears and crazy things and I can't really get into it, but just believe me. But ya, I'm way too far away from home to take a job out here. Plus I've already got a job at an in-ground pool sales facility. I'm basically the manager, (no, I'm not, I'm just yankin' this chump's chain) and that means of got power. I don't need a job, but thanks for the offer, Buster.”
Buster just sort stared at me with his jaw open for a while, in awe of the situation and of what I had told him. Basically probably because I told him about my awesome status as a manager, even though I'm not. He says “well my son, looks to me like you're all set. Here's my card if you change your mind.” Then like a bolt of lighting he was gone. He just took off running like a wild banshee-man. So I look at this DoG Buster guy's card and turns out he's some bozo from the Dave & Buster's place. He's the Buster guy. Crazy huh? But all this could have been some kind of hallucination because of the intense stench odor that my stinky clothes were giving off. After all, to this very day I can't find that business card. That's something to think about guys, really think about that hocus pocus and have a good morning.
