Last night was a riot. Shelly was at it again. Her and that whack job of a guy Sparky were hanging out on their front stoop talking about aliens from outer space. I couldn't believe they were wasting their time doing things like that when you could have just as easily been inside beating some level of Call of Duty for XBOX 360, but no, just on the stoop talking about aliens instead.
Let's just suppose for a second that aliens are really there. Yeah right. But seriously, think about this stuff for a second. Little green buggers just floating around out there in their crazy space ships. If they knew what was good for them maybe they were just stay the heck away from us. What's so interesting about a planet of people driving around in cars all day and going to work and sleeping. Man, I bet aliens never sleep because they realized that sleep was just a waste of life. They probably figured out some magic formula that you can inject into your arm and that will just give you the same thing as your sleep normally would. I bet they would even live longer because they wouldn't be dopey enough to drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. For fun, aliens would probably just figure out what kind of spaceship they're going to build next. I wonder if they put crazy decorations and sound systems in their space ships like we do with our cars.
But let's be honest, aliens are seriously just gonna come to our planet to kill us all. Haven't you seen all the movies. They just want our water or whatever. I just have a feeling that by the time they actually get here they aren't even going to want to have anything to do with us. We have messed up this planet royally. I can imagine aliens finding a landfill and being like “what is with this place and all this crap? I hope nobody had to live here. Boy did these people like to drink soda” and things like that. It's about time we put all our junky garbage into space ships and shoot it all into outer space. But knowing our luck as people, it will probably all find a way to clump together and come hurdling back at us in the shape of a meteor and we will get all mushed up by our own trash. I hope that doesn't happen. If it did, on the way down can you imagine how bad it would smell after traveling through space? Really bad. I bet that it would smell so bad that it would make Sparky Winchester smell pretty good, wouldn't you say? I would.
Oh man I just had a crazy thought. What if Sparky Winchester was actually an alien visiting from outerspace. That might really explain a lot. He's probably homeless because he doesn't have a birth certificate so he can't get a job. Due to him not having a job he can't make money and therefore has to sleep at bus stations. There he can wait and prey on the weak until he finds just the right person. i.e. my neighbor Shelly. Oh man it all makes so much sense. This guy is an alien, I will just have to find a way to prove it.
I will go undercover for a while and watch my old pal Sparky to see exactly what's happening. I will hide behind things and maybe even bug Shelly's place to see if I can hear him talking to his alien brothers in crime. If he really is an alien I don't know what I'm going to do. Should I kill him? Probably not. Should I make him show me some of his awesome alien technologies? Yes I should. I want to be able to give alien powers to everything that I already have in life, making it that much more awesome and unstoppable. Oh great! I hope you all have a Good Morning!
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