Pools

I think I'm sick of my job. Do you know what I'm talking about? Have you ever been showing up to work over and over again and you don't know why? I know, it's really terrible and it makes you want to yell and scream at just about anything. I've been working at an above-ground pool and jacuzzi sales facility for about 4 months now. When I gave them my resume I was thinking “wowie this is gonna be the greatest job ever. I'm going to be surrounded by pools all day, babes in bikinis and pina coladas.” This was definitely not the case because I got there and it was just this store that had wood samples for people to look at and touch to see if it was something they wanted in their yard or whatever. These dweebers think it's really going to make their quality of life better to have this stuff though, so they buy it.

When you buy an above-ground pool there's something you will have to understand, and that's that you are going to have all kinds of losers wanting to come over to swim on every single hot day. Maybe that's your thing but if it were me, I'd be completely mad all the time. It's like, you don't even know who your real friends would be anymore. Are they real or are they using you to swim in your pool? Proabably just using your pool. A pool is basically a cry of desperation for someone to have new friends. But are these really friends or just pool people. Probably the pool people. The kind of people that come over, use your pool and probably float around in one of those inflatable inner tubes with the sunglasses on and the feet in the water sipping on some fancy drink that they didn't pay for. They the same people just waltz into your house without asking and just start snooping around for things. They find your fridge and just bust in and start eating your food! How rude! Then they use your toilet and probably leave the seat down and pee all over it, the jerks. Those aren't friends. Those are jerks.

If I were dumb enough to buy an above-ground pool, I would be smart enough to charge admission. What's the point of friends if you can't make any money off of them? Wow I never thought of that till just now. I bet I could make a ton of money off a pool. You can charge people to swim and make all kinds of money off them for just swimming around in that thing. Then you could set up an easy rinkydink snack stand and sell hot dogs for like $3 each and sodas for $1 each and make loads of money of that. Heck even charge admission to the bathrooms. What's that you say? They're just gonna pee in the pool. No they won't because they'll be scared to because I will have signs posted that say WARNING: If you pee in the pool I will know because the water around you will start turning green. Oh man how embarrassing would that be huh? One minute you're having a great time and the next you get dumb enough to pee in the pool and the water turns green on you. You know everyone's just gonna be pointing and laughing at you because you're the weirdo that just peed in the pool.

One things for sure there aren't gonna be those shower rooms like they have at some of the public pools you go to. Those rooms are scary. A whole lotta naked people all walking around with their privates showing. GROSS! I don't get this. You can just wear a bathing suit home take a shower when you get there? Apparently not I guess. Instead you see these droopy old wrinkly guys talking about sports with all their droopy old old-man parts flopping around. YUCK. Get em' away!

With all that said I might just need to find a new profession. I hear brain surgery pays well. Oh! Haha! No way Jose, I would never do brain surgery because that stuff is disgusting. What weirdo wants to go to work and look at brains all day. That kinda guy needs to be arrested for being such a creepy weido. Those are the kinds of people that kill people and chop them into little pieces. I think I'll just go down to Salvation army and see what's up there because I'm giving my two weeks notice at the pool shop. Have a Good Morning!